Relationship Counselling in London & Online: A Deeper Exploration
“Love is not something natural. Rather, it requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith, and the overcoming of narcissism. It is not a feeling, it is a practice.” – Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving
At the heart of many human struggles lies one deep longing: to love and be loved, authentically. Yet this simple yearning often comes entangled with fear—of rejection, of abandonment, of intimacy itself. Offering a safe (and brave) space for relationship counselling in London and online, we gently explore what gets in the way of connection — and how healing begins within. It takes great courage to open up to about your innermost wants, pain or fears. This often involves overcoming deeply stored feelings of shame or guilt for past experiences of failure in love and intimacy.
Relationship therapy offers a non-judgemental, completely confidential and compassionate container where a gradual unfolding can lead towards healing anew. I support you in your desire to find love, both within and in relationship with others.
The Courage to Love: A Human and Spiritual Challenge
Scott Peck, in The Road Less Travelled, asserts that true love is not about dependency or neediness — it’s about extending oneself for the purpose of nurturing another’s growth. This is no small task. As Peck writes, “Love is the will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.” It takes courage and inner clarity to love in this way. And yet, it is important to question the narrative we tell ourselves about such ‘neediness’ or dependency. Healthy love brings attachment too, needfully so. Our needs may be healthy, and deserve a non-judgemental space in which to exist within us, to be felt and honoured.
In our work together, we can explore love not only as an emotion, but as an act of will and attention — a spiritual discipline, a porcess of becoming, as much as a human need.
What Keeps Us Stuck in Unhealthy Patterns?
We often unconsciously repeat relational dynamics from early life, particularly shaped by our attachment styles. This we do in an unconscious attempt to heal our previous or primal wounding. Hence the well known adage of making the same mistakes and expecting different results. This is easily done – and we have all been through it. It can be deeply dissappointing, and is often devastating, to reach the same stages repeatedly. Whether you lean anxiously toward connection or instinctively avoid closeness, these patterns we find, were once survival strategies. But they can limit your experience of intimacy today. Awareness is the first step toward change, and therapy helps with this.
Carl Jung said,
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
In spiritual therapy, we learn to notice these inner scripts — and rewrite them with compassion. My approach is also take into account social contexts of patriarchy, polarity between the sexes, discrimmination, cultural norms or constructs and sexual identity – all of which impact the way we see ourselves and are seen in relationship. Just as they impact our ability to love and be loved.
It is my aim to support you on this journey towards healthy and fulfilling, healing relationship.
The Vulnerability of Loving
Brené Brown speaks often of how vulnerability is the birthplace of connection. This can be extremely difficult for men, taught from a young age that to be masculine is to stand apart, not share or be seen as ‘weak’. Yet to be vulnerable requires us to face shame, fear, and the haunting question: “Am I worthy of love?” In our deepest vulnerability we find, there is beauty to behold and aliveness to be found. I provide relationship counselling to support you in meeting these fears with gentleness — so that love becomes less about proving and more about being.
Love as Art: Therapy as Canvas
Marc Chagall once painted lovers floating through sky and dream — a visual metaphor for how love lifts us beyond ordinary perception. In a way, loving is like art: it draws upon creativity, presence, vulnerability, and soul.
As a therapist grounded in Psychosynthesis, I support you to uncover the creative self behind your defenses. The part of you that knows how to love — and be loved — in deeper, freer ways. Equally important is developing an awareness and hounouring of boundaries that keep you safe. For many, consent is an area of great confusion, misunderstanding and suffering. This too requires a gentle, thoughtful, compassionate and informed approach so each person feels safe and seen. Therapy leads to a greater ability to listen to what our minds and bodies are telling us moment by moment, a clearer sense of who we are. It also strengthens our sense of agency and value.
Looking Outward Together: The Little Prince
In Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s The Little Prince, he writes,
“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.”
In couples work and relationship counselling, we rediscover this outward gaze — one that aligns your hearts with shared values, purpose, and direction. Love deepens not in fusion, but in conscious companionship. Becoming more conscious of and aligned with our deepest values informs the kind of relationships we experience.
Daisaku Ikeda on Love and Wisdom
“Love without wisdom can become obsession; wisdom without love becomes cold,”
said Buddhist philosopher Daisaku Ikeda. True healing requires both heart and insight. In therapy, we cultivate both — the warmth of compassion, and the clarity to act differently.
Relationship Counselling in London & Online
Who Is Relationship Counselling in London & Online For?
- You long for deeper intimacy but fear losing yourself in love.
- Finding yourself stuck in repeated patterns of emotional disconnection or conflict, you yearn for change.
- You’re healing from heartbreak, betrayal, or relationship trauma or abuse.
- You want to explore love through a soulful, spiritual lens.
Further Reading
- Spiritual Awakening or Breakdown? How to Tell the Difference
- Psychosynthesis Therapy for Life Transitions
- The Art of Self Forgiveness
Explore Relationship Counselling with Alex
If you’re ready to explore a shift in your inner world to change your relationships, or want simply to talk, I invite you to reach out. Together, we’ll explore what it means to love and be loved—not perfectly, but more truly. Finding and beginning relationship counselling in London & online may be easier than you think, and lead to the positive changes you seek.
Book a Free 15-Minute Consultation or an initial session (£50-70) →
Keywords: relationship counselling London, holistic therapy for relationships, online relationship therapy, intimacy issues, spiritual therapy, psychosynthesis counselling
Alex Golding is a BACP registered & qualified Psychosynthesis Counsellor offering affordable rates as a private therapist in Farringdon, London Bridge and Online. He is passionate about offering spiritually informed holistic and humanistic therapy to artists, men, young people, or anyone struggling with belonging, depression, meaning, or anxiety, in order to realise their fullest potential and happier relationships.